Another birthday gone...

I've only got two more years of my thirties left and I want to make the best of them. So far, I haven't become that typical mid-life crisis having, Viagra-taking guy who thinks he's wasted his whole life and just needs a hot blonde and a red sports car to set things right. I hope I am never that pathetic.

As I progress in life, I realize that living without regrets is the best policy for me. I don't see much of a point to second guess decisions from my past or bemoan the things that I cannot change. I can only be grateful for my family (especially my two boys). They are the ones who I wanted near me on my birthday and they are all the gift I ever needed.

Last night, we played Risk until midnight just so we could stay up until my birthday started. Sure we slept in a little longer than we should have but it was worth it for all the laughs we had together. Around noon, we drove up to Scottsdale to have lunch at PF Chang's and watch a movie at Camelview.

Lunch was great but we ended up skipping on the movie because there was a long line of old people. I don't mind crowds and I can tolerate old people but long lines of old people means that everyone is moving too slow and I wasn't in the mood for that.

We ended up coming back home for a while only to venture out at sunset for a few games of basketball. We hadn't played in a while and it felt great to be out on the courts again (just the four of us). We played two on two and rotated teams after every game. After three games, I was the sole winner (meaning that I had one each game with a different teammate). Then I got too cocky and pushed for a fourth game; only to lose having scored no points.

It's all good though. I don't have to be a winner. I'm just happy to be active and speeding time with my loved ones. We topped the night off by picking up Whataburger in the drive-thru and eating at home. I had the triple meat & triple cheese (minus the bun) and it really hit the spot. All in all, I'd say that I had a really good birthday!

NIN Kicks Ass!

On Friday the 15th, my sons and I went with Andy to Cricket Pavilion for the NIN/Jane's Addiction show. I had never heard of the opening band and wasn't expecting much from them. Their name was Street Sweeper Social Club and they were... AWESOME. It turns out that guitarist Tom Morello teamed up with rapper Boots Riley for this side project and it paid off. These guys were so good that I am actually going to buy their album when it comes out in June rather than just "download" it (thanks Koren).

Next up, we thought we were waiting for Jane's Addiction but it turned out to be Nine Inch Nails! They were amazing and did about a two hour set that had 15 to 20 thousand people on their feet. Trent Reznor was in good form and he certainly did not disappoint. Although every song was performed to perfection, the coolest was when they performed "Head Like a Hole" because just about everyone in the arena was shouting the words like an anthem.

Jane's Addiction started off strong with a staggering performance of "Three Days". There was a moment during the lengthy instrumentals when the audience seemed to sway with the very pulse of the bass. Perry Farrell's voice but cracked in places. Even still they sang some great songs. At one point Dave Navarro was in the middle of a guitar solo when some asshole in the pit threw a cup of beer at his chest. Beer splashed all over him and his guitar but he never missed a note. At the end of the song, Perry asked in a very feminine voice "How did you know we were thirsty?"
After that, they sang the much anticipated "Being Caught Stealin" (which seemed to be lacking in entertainment value) so we left immediately afterwords.

It was almost midnight, there was about 15 thousand other people who would be competing for the road and we were on the west side. IT was a great show and the perfect way to start the weekend. I know that the boys had a great time and we will all remember the performances for a long time to come. Colleen, I think you chose the wrong concert. I know you made the decision for your kids but having seen No Doubt open for U2 in 2001, NIN blew them away. Regardless, I am sure you will enjoy your show but you missed a really great one this time. Now the boys are asking to go to the Marilyn Manson/Slayer show in July... I can hardly wait!!!

Insomnia

I wish I knew why it was so hard for me to sleep (of course sitting online late at night isn't going to help things). For years, I just assumed that I suffered from some post-traumatic thing that was a result of being in combat. I didn't think there was anything that could help me so I didn't even try.

Over the years, my sleep issues worsened. Not only did I find it difficult to fall asleep but it was increasingly difficult to stay asleep. Also, I would wake up thrashing, screaming, crawling on the floor, or sometimes I would just wake up in another room. [sleepwalking sucks!] A few times, I actually injured myself by either banging into walls or getting severe carpet burns.

It got so bad that this was happening every night and it was disturbing my wife's slumber. Well, after several doctors' visits (and co-pays, I might add) and a couple of sleep studies, it was determined that I have a condition called sleep apnea and it is severe. A few more week go by and I finally get my CPAP machine (it is an acronym but don't ask me what it means).

The CPAP helps me to breathe through the night by forcing pressurized air through my nasal passages and preventing my airway from closing. Well, it seemed to work for the first couple of nights but in the last few nights I have been up to my old tricks again. The insomnia and sleep walking are back but at least I feel better rested for getting some sleep before I unplugged myself.

I suppose I should stop typing this and just go lay down but as exhausted I am, I don't feel sleepy. Weird, huh? Maybe but, not fun at all. I am just going to have to get used to wearing the mask and I going to reprogram my body to sleep. Actually, by just typing these words, I am starting to get sleepy. For a minute there, everything was getting all blurry and slurry (if it even possible to slur a typed word). With that, I bid you farewell and good night (I hope).

Flock Browser

Just when I thought I was wasting too much time on social networks... I found a browser that integrates popular social sites and media sites into one interface. The browser can be downloaded at flock.com and it is the coolest browser I have ever used. As a matter of fact, I am blogging with it right now.

Instead of going to my blogger website and logging in, I just need to click the "open blog editor" button on the toolbar and it already knows which blog site I use and my account info. Then I get a very easy to use tool in which I can rant and ramble. Although I have been considering producing my own podcast, I think I might get serious about blogging.

In addition to blogging, there is a sidebar that consolidates all your friends from all your social sites. You can drag any picture from the web and drag it to a friends picture if you want to send it to them. I realize this all boring and trivial but it has given me a valuable tool to better stay connected to MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter (not to mention quickly accessing all my email accounts and media sites).

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Church Hopping Summary

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.


Ideally, I should make the time to blog soon after each church visit. That way the memories are fresh and I can write a more detailed and accurate account. Unfortunately, I have visited four more churches in the last six weeks and didn't get off my ass to write anything.

I'm going to write a quick synopsis of each visit and will likely expound on the interesting ones at a later date. Six weeks ago, "Sally" and I went to a methodist church. It was ordinary and boring to me but she took some comfort in familiar traditions.

That was all to change the next week when she agreed to join me at a Jehovah's Witness service. It was similar to mormon services in several ways and they were by far the friendliest church to date (don't worry I didn't drink the kool aid). They were very surprised that we fund them on the Internet and remarked that we were the first people who came looking for them.

The following week my parents were in town (that's a blog in itself) so of course we went to the mormon church. This time Sally did not come but my sons did. They joined us for the first meeting and were rescued by my wife while I accompanied my parents for two more hours of church. I even shaved and put on a suit and tie (what a sucker). During their week long visit, I was reminded of just why I left home in the first place. But that's for another time...

Finally, I went to a Navajo service on the rez on the next Sunday. This time, I was sent to "English-speaking" Sunday school with the preacher and 2 ladies. The remaining congregation (minus the kids) attending the "Navajo-speaking" school. Our lesson was about Abraham and the commandment to kill his son. I refrained from the typical atheistic objections (mostly because I was the only white guy within miles with no transportation). I even answered some discussion questions with respect and thoughtfulness. My intentions are to experience the religion of others not to challenge them on their home turf.

After the lesson, we all met for worship service (which was mostly in Navajo) and I think I actually fell asleep. I don't remember much except they were praying for the conversion of traditional Navajos so they too would share in the joy of Jesus. After the sermon and several hymns, we were served lunch and returned home.

This will serve as some rudimentary account of my last four churches but I do hope to be more vigilant in my writings. I also decided that worship services and sermons are getting me nowhere. Sally and I are planning to attend a penecostal service soon and I need to try other faiths (i.e. judaism, islam, buddhism, etc.) but I want to spend more time with christians in bible study classes. It is pretty late so I will head off to bed. I'm supposed to be at work in less than six hours.

A Visiting Stranger...

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.


Yesterday I was home alone while my family went to the mall. The idea was that I was supposed to be working on my homework. Since I had been out at the club until 4:30 am and only got a few hours sleep, I quickly fell asleep. (Who wouldn't fall asleep while trying to read a textbook on International Business?)

I must have been in a deep sleep because I was awoken to the sound of the doorbell. Stumbling clumsily to the door, I peered through the peephole but had no clue who was there (I could only tell that she was a woman). I was still groggy and wasn't wearing my glasses so everything was a blur. The only blur I could make out was the silhouette of a dark SUV (it seemed as large as a Chevy Suburban).

I remembered I had casually committed to returning to the Church of Scientology to buy books (a small white lie). I was confused as to how they could find me and tried to recall if I had given out my address. I didn't panic and I wasn't scared but I certainly wasn't in the mood to talk to any creepy Scientologists. So, I quietly returned to my nap and she eventually went away.

Having forgotten about the whole incident, I didn't even think to mention it to my wife. But this afternoon, the doorbell rang again. My son peeked through the blinds and announced that it was just my wife's friend, "Lana". So, I confidently flung the door open to see the same unknown lady with her black Suburban...

She politely asked a few questions to determine if she had the correct residence. She did. But she wasn't looking for me; she was looking for my wife. And she wasn't from the Church of Scientology; she was from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

She is what the Mormons call a visiting teacher and she had tracked down my wife. She wanted to let us know that the "church" was available if we needed anything. She also said "We haven't seen your wife for a while and wanted to see if she was still here." The funny thing is that the last time my wife went to church was 13 years ago and it was in Colorado. I had half a mind to tell this lady that but I didn't.

I also had the urge to invite her in for a theological discussion but I didn't. She wasn't a missionary and she looked uncomfortable and I know my wife was uncomfortable. My wife witnessed the whole exchange hiding around the corner and she was upset that I flung the door open (potentially exposing her). She was also bewildered at how the "church" keeps tracking her down. Every time we change addresses they eventually find her (not me, just her). This time it took almost two years to the day but they are persistent.

I should have known better than to assume the Scientoiogists would even bother to find me. Now the Mormons, on the other hand, they can track you like a bloodhound on the trail...

The Church of Scientology

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.

I had to drive 20 miles to the downtown Phoenix area where the only Church of Scientology for metro Phoenix is located. It was all freeways so it didn't take too long. I arrived early because I always allow extra time for traffic. The first thing I noticed was the parking area was enclosed. There was an open gate but it could have been closed at some point while I was inside. I was aware of the fact that when I sent an online inquiry about meeting times I was directed to call ahead so they would know I was coming.

I did consider parking outside the compound but they enticed me with covered parking spaces and it gets hot this time of year. I tactically backed my car into the shade and waited for my appointment. At 10:30 sharp, I walked into the receptionist's office and announced that I was there for my appointment. She didn't look very happy to be there but she politely informed Antonio of my arrival.

Antonio led me through a maze of hallways to a small room in the back to go over my test results. The room was unnaturally hot (even for Phoenix) and felt as if they had the heat on only in that room. We went over the results of my Oxford Capacity Analysis (OCS) test. This is a test that was designed by the church of scientology as a recruitment tool in 1961 and has been challenged by psychologists. The test measured 10 areas of personality: stability, happiness, composure, certainty, activity, aggressiveness, responsibility, correct estimation, appreciation and communication.

In the areas that I fell "below normal" there was great concern. These areas demanded my immediate attention. Curiously, on of those areas said that I was too critical; something which I regard as a positive thing. From there standpoint, I should be more willing to accept things "on faith" and not be so critical of the world around me. In the areas where I fell in the "normal" range, I should be working to improve these (simply because there was room for improvement). In three areas, I scored well above the normal range but Antonio but a negative spin on this. He said that too have such high scores in a few areas offsets my personality makes me unstable and unpredictable.

The end result of this bogus test analysis was that I should spend $50 on books written by L. Ron Hubbard that will help me improve. I could also make the long drive on a regular basis and pay hefty fees for classes and personal auditing. I passed on the sales pitch and told him I wanted to attend the church service but just took the test out of curiosity. Incidentally, these books are all available at my public library (thanks to a community outreach program for which the church of scientology had a pamphlet in their waiting room).

While waiting for services to start, I was reading some material and was approached by someone else. He introduced himself as Jonathon and he welcomed me; stating he would be leading the services. We went into a small chapel where I was joined by eleven other people (this is for the only church of scientology in a metro area with more than 4 million people). It was obvious that every one else knew each other and none of them welcomed me to the meeting. While waiting for the meeting to start, someone was talking about the movie Iron Man. When I tried to interject a comment about the movie, they spun and stared at me with a look that said "why are you talking?" so I gave up trying.

Jonathon opened a large book with a leather-bound cover and gold-covered edges (it looked like a bible). From this book he read the Scientologist Creed, as follows:

We of the Church believe:

That all men of whatever race, color, or creed were created with equal rights;

That all men have inalienable rights to their own religious practices and their performance;

That all men have inalienable rights to their own lives;

That all men have inalienable rights to their sanity;

That all men have inalienable rights to their own defense;

That all men have inalienable rights to conceive, choose, assist or support their own organizations, churches and governments;

That all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of others;

That all men have inalienable rights to the creation of their own kind;

That the souls of men have the rights of men;

That the study of the mind and the healing of mentally caused ills should not be alienated from religion or condoned in non-religious fields;

And that no agency less than God has the power to suspend or set aside these rights, overtly or covertly.

And we of the Church believe:

That man is basically good;

That he is seeking to survive;

That his survival depends upon himself and upon his fellows and his attainment of brotherhood with the universe.

And we of the Church believe that the laws of God forbid man:

To destroy his own kind;

To destroy the sanity of another;

To destroy or enslave another's soul;

To destroy or reduce the survival of one's companions or one's group.

And we of the Church believe that the spirit can be saved and that the spirit alone may save or heal the body.

Afterwards, he stated that our topic of discussion would be how to avoid feeling victimized. I noticed he didn't say "how not to be victimized" but rather how to avoid feeling like a victim. He turned to another place in the leather book and began to read an article that had been written by L. Ron Hubbard about the subject of victimization. I really wish I could have taken notes but that would have been a little too obvious (besides Antonio was sitting right behind me). I cannot even give you the basic gist of the sermon/lecture. Maybe I am too drunk or maybe I am too tired. At any rate, it felt like group therapy session. The congregation was encouraged and willing to yell out commentary.

I discovered that the two teen-aged girls on one side of the room were daughters of two of the ladies on the other side of the room. All five of the adult women in the room were divorced and made many sarcastic remarks about their ex-hubbies. The men in the room fit the sci-fi/D&D geek profile and made the kind of jokes that no one laughs at but them. I didn't really feel comfortable commenting on anything so I just observed the proceedings.

Jonathon spent the last twenty minutes of our meeting with some group activity. I was a little excited because that would give me a reason to interact with these people. Unfortunately, it was a silent group activity. He named off dozens of categories and had us silently ponder the most certain thing we know about each one. Some of the categories were self, family, mother, father, humanity, the environment, outer space, cats, dogs, the weather, sex, men, women, boys, girls, birds, solid things, etc. It droned on to the point when I almost went to sleep when Jonathon finally said "now don't have a better certainty about the world?"

We ended the session with the Scientology prayer for total freedom (of which I had a printed copy on my chair). The text of that prayer is as follows:

The Scientology Prayer for Total Freedom

May the author of the universe enable all men to reach an understanding of their spiritual nature.

May awareness and understanding of life expand, so that all may come to know the author of the universe.

And may others also reach this understanding which brings Total Freedom.

At this time, we think of those whose liberty is threatened; of those who have suffered imprisonment for their beliefs; of those who are enslaved or martyred, and for all those who are brutalized, trapped or attacked.

We pray that human rights will be preserved so that all people may believe and worship freely, so that freedom will once again be seen in our land.

Freedom from war, and poverty, and want; freedom to be; freedom to do and freedom to have.

Freedom to use and understand man's potential — a potential that is God-given and Godlike.

And freedom to achieve that understanding and awareness that is Total Freedom.

May God let it be so.

When we were dismissed, I shook Antonio's hand and shook Jonathon's hand and promptly left the building. This was one of the most bizarre "church" experience I have seen. With it all said and done, my original hypothesis was confirmed: Scientology is not religious but became a church to avoid paying taxes so they can make more money. The harm they cause is misinformation and greed. I am glad I took the time to attend this service but I am anxious to explore more legitimate religions. Next week, I am considering either a Jewish synagogue or a Buddhist temple. For now, good night...

Head's Up!

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.


I have a 10:30 appointment today with the Church of Scientology. An auditor named Antonio is going to discuss my personality test. Afterwards, I will be attending their 11:15 service. I am doing this alone and I have some mixed emotions (excitement, apprehension, curiosity, etc.) Don't worry, I won't drink the kool-aid but if you don't hear from me by the end of the day, call the police (just kidding).

Chandler Christian Church

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.

Last Sunday, March 27th, I decided to go solo. I considered the notion of returning unannounced to my friend's Baptist church. I was also very interested in attending services at the local Buddhist temple. In the end, I chose another mega-church. The Baptist church was too far away and my sons wanted me to wait on the Buddhist thing until they were free to go with me (they were busy butchering a sheep that morning).

That left me with the Chandler Christian Church which happens to be located right next door to Cornerstone. There are so many Christians bogging down traffic that attend those two churches that the City of Chandler assigns local police officers to direct traffic in and out of the church parking lots.

With traffic in mind, I arrived about twenty minutes early, got a decent parking spot and had time to walk around a little. After a short, self-guided tour, I entered the theater/chapel about 10 minutes early. I was surprised to find the room virtually empty. That was a little surprising considering the size of the room. I couldn't help but think that attendance must be dwindling.

I was wrong. Within twenty minutes, the room was almost packed and more people were sneaking in. Apparently, tardiness is not frowned upon in this congregation and that was actually a comforting thought. The general tone of the meeting was casualness. There were shorts and sandals and jeans and tank tops but most people were excited and enthusiastic. The worship band was on stage and everyone was standing and waving their hands like they were at a Motley Crue concert. People were singing along (which wasn't difficult because the lyrics were displayed on the big screen).

There were a couple times when a song could be construed as emotional and that did not surprise me. I think it was Dan Barker who explained that as a music leader at his church, it was his job to get the congregation in the "spirit" of things. He understood that even secular music can be used as a powerful tool to make you feel a certain way. They do it in movie soundtracks all the time. They can make you feel really happy or sad or scared with nothing but notes.

The interesting thing is that the pastor wasn't the speaker that day. He got on staged and thanked God for such powerful music. He then gave a prayer to the Lord and introduced the speaker. His name is Vince Antonucci and he wrote a book called "I Became a Christian and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt: Replacing Souvenir Religion with Authentic Spiritual Passion". The weird thing is that I didn't see anything authentic or spiritual or passionate.

Vince delivered a canned performance that came off more like comedy for Christians than anything significant or spiritual. He told a (likely bogus) story about being raised with no religion. He claimed that college was the first place he ever met a Christian and how he made fun of televangelists on TV. One day, he wanted to read a passage in the Bible to prove Christians wrong and he kept reading it.

Allegedly, the Bible gave convincing evidence of Jesus' divinity by providing places and times and people that were historically significant. From that day on he was a Christian and so the story goes. Well, his big message of the day was that everyone was afraid to die and that we were all born to die. According to the words of Jesus, those who love this life will lose it and those who hate this life will gain it. The Bible is full of little gems of wisdom that are always contradictions of conventional thinking. The misconception is that since they profoundly defy logic they must also be profoundly wise.

I truly have little respect for the speaker because he was propagating bullshit and I'm sure this mega-church paid him a pretty penny to fly all the way over from North Carolina just to tell people they had to die to really live. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand the implications of the message; I just think it is stupid. People should be embracing life because it might be the only life they have to live.

I feel sorry for these Christians who delude themselves with a few hours of lies each Sunday. Most do not take the time to truly study their own scriptures (the quickest way to atheism is to actually read the bible). They are content to propagate whatever fallacies their pastors give them. They rationalize that they do not need to bother studying their faith when they have a preacher to do it for them. Oh, they might memorize a key scripture or two but it all becomes lost in blind faith.

I suppose that's what you get with a mega-church: insincerity and emptiness. Everything becomes watered down. I suppose it seems odd that an atheist would care but it has an adverse impact on our culture. People no longer believe because they have taken the time to search for the sacred truths themselves. The danger occurs when Christians in America need to rally the troops. Most of these people have no clue about the issues let alone where they should stand. All they know is that they identify as Christian and the religious right gains mindless masses.

Well, somehow my review of the church has turned into a rant. I intended to keep these blogs on an even keel but it becomes increasingly difficult to ignore the obvious. Christian churches are nothing more than a place where professed Christians can take refuge from the secular world and find out what they are supposed to think. I really need to go to some non-Christian churches to get some perspective before I get completely burnt out on this whole project.

Cornerstone

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.

Having never been to a mega church before, I was intrigued to attend last week’s services (March 30th) at Cornerstone. This is a very large church in Chandler with so many people attending that officers from Chandler PD have to direct traffic. To illustrate this point, there was no room for us to park in the massive parking lot near the building so we were directed to the gravel overflow parking. While walking in, Sally and I helped ourselves to some of there free coffee (which was very good, I might add).

Just inside there were a few businesses (I only noticed a snack bar and bookstore but there seemed to be more). We were running late (as usual) and headed straight for the "chapel". But this chapel was just a large auditorium with hundreds, if not thousands, of people. We were greeted by a female usher and were showed to a pair of seats.

We seemed to be in the midst of some hippy love fest for Jesus. The band looked more like they belonged in Seattle’s music scene of the early 90’s and kept singing some inspirational christian rock. This seems to be the formula of most churches: start with music to increase spiritual awareness then bring in the pastor.

But this guy didn’t like much of a pastor. He was wearing a plaid flannel shirt and had his hair spiked up like he was trying to be young again. He told some obligatory jokes and proceeded with his presentation (I don’t think you could call it a sermon). He actually stole the phrase "men are from Mars and women are from Venus".

We spent the next 30 to 40 minutes listen to a tirade that was loosely based on the bible versus from Ephesians 5:22-33. The basic gist of the message was that wives should respect their husbands because men crave respect and that husbands should love their wives because women crave love. It was a little awkward to be listening to this "sermon" with Sally, as it was intended to be advice for couples.

Besides reading those few versus from Ephesians, the speaker felt content to only point at the bible and state "Everything you need is in here." That seemed a fairly vague and ineffective way to spread "god’s word". By the end of it, Sally was engrossed in something with her cell phone while I sat and painfully listened to every word. I felt like a masochist who was incapable of turning away.

At the first hint of a conclusion, Sally and I bolted for the door; not for fear of anything but in a desperate effort to beat the traffic. We went to Penny’s Ice Cream & Sandwiches and had a very nice breakfast. Although that day’s lecture was the first in a series on relationships, we had no intention of listening to the rest of the series.

Skyline Fellowship Southern Baptist Church

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.

On March 2nd Sally and I went to attend church at Skyline Fellowship Southern Baptist Church in Mesa. I wanted to go earlier to participate in bible study but Sally was too nervous. She just wanted to go to the worship services and get out. She had no interest to talk to strangers, especially about the bible. (Sometimes it seems like I was the christian and she was the atheist--she is very apprehensive about church.)

We found this particular church through a co-worker of mine so we arranged to meet her and her family at the chapel. We were almost late so when we arrived, things were just getting started. I was surprised to see that the worship band were all kids and was told that the youth band performed for services once a month. They were actually very good and I could even "feel the spirit" so to speak. There was a point when we were encouraged to move about the chapel and mingle with the congregation. I started shaking hands and walking around until Sally asked me to come back. She was too nervous to leave the pew and didn't want to be left alone.

After several minutes of musical worship, the pastor finally came out. He thanked the youth band for their performance and called al the little children to the front. Apparently, this was a weekly ritual where he would give a short sermon directly to the children. On that day, the message was that they should read the bible everyday. Although it was best for them to read the entire bible, he said if that was too hard, they should focus on a list of specific scriptures that were "very important".

I was a little stunned because I have a theory that if a christian was to read the entire bible they would see all the inconsistencies and start to question. I thought it was strange that he would tell these kids to do the very thing that could put doubt in their minds. But when he reduced the mandate to only needing to read certain versus from a list, it became clear. He was just propagating more brainwashing and thought control.

The children were dismissed to their Sunday school and all left the chapel; leaving the adults to hear the real sermon. I don't remember his central message (if there was one) but I remember he was bashing mormons, muslims and Hilary Clinton. I thought that was an odd approach of interpreting "god's word" and felt very uneasy. I wish I had blogged this earlier because I do not remember most of what he said. I only remember that I didn't like how he was saying it.

After the sermon, he brought back the youth back to set a "spiritual" mood. Then he stated that he wanted people from the congregation to come forward and accept Jesus in their hearts. He even hinted that they had all afternoon and would be willing to wait "as long as it took" to save souls (although that was said tongue in cheek).

Well, I was intrigued to see how long we would wait and what exactly would happen but Sally had a desperate look in her eye. She turned to me in a panic and asked if we could leave right away. I felt like she was whispering the "safe word" to end a session of S&M and I felt sorry for her. We, not so discreetly, exited the back of the chapel to the freedom of the parking lot. We then drove away to get our usual cup of coffee and discuss what we had seen.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints- Galveston 1st Ward

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.

After more than twelve years of personal apostasy, I attended services at my local mormon ward (here in Chandler). It was actually Sally who asked to go. I think I inspired her to try new things because she was eager to see what mormon church was like. Anyhow, on February 17th we attended an LDS church. We didn't go to church the week before because we tried to go to the mormon church but got lost.

We took the wimp clause and only attended the first hour of the three hour services. Mormons divide their meetings into three one-hour blocks. The first is sacrament meeting, the second is Sunday school and the third is for priesthood (men) and the relief society (women) which meets separately.

Sally was surprised at how small the chapel was. That and the fact that we didn't adhere to the mormon dress code made us stand out as obvious outsiders. I was cool with it but Sally was very nervous. An usher met us at the door and was asking us the nature of our visit (in a friendly but nosy way). Sally caved under pressure and blurted out that I was a mormon.

I responded that I was actually not a mormon and Sally made sure the usher knew that my parents still were part of the church. I guess she thought we were going to get in trouble for "crashing" their church. I wasn't happy with her because I would prefer that my former affiliation with mormons remain undisclosed.

The services soon started and I was reminded of something I had forgotten about mormons; they suck at singing church hymns. It actually felt like torture to hear the straining, apathetic voices sing in a droning unison. A quick look at the program confirmed my fear that we would be singing three other songs throughout the services. To make matters worse, this congregation decided to sing all the verses of every song while the ward of my youth only sang the first verse.

After singing, the bishop conducted some administrative business. A young man was going to be given the priesthood but needed the vote of the congregation first. I had forgotten about those ward votes and it felt like such an eerie thing. Although, it is funny because it seems to diminish the divinity of the appointment.

The distribution of the sacrament went without a hitch. Sally again was nervous but I just instructed her to signal the deacon that we were declining the sacrament tray and he went away. Sally commented how weird it was that there was no music. I hadn't thought about it but (now that I have been to a couple of other churches) I realized how unnatural and un-spiritual this was.

Finally, we were going to hear the sermons (or as the mormon call them, "talks"). There were three speakers from the congregation (as sermons are not given by clergy); a young woman, an older woman, and an even older man.

The young lady spoke about some conference she had attended and how much she was inspired by the church leaders at that conference. The next lady spoke about how we could better know God. She gave some bogus example of being asked by the bishop to have a personal meeting with God at the temple. In this example, you would be able to speak with Him and even hold Him in your arms.

After those first two speakers we caught a break because instead of another boring congregational hymn, there was a program change that a woman would sing a special song for us. I don't remember the song but I remember not being tortured by our untrained voices. During this time, I pondered about the third speaker.

The first two had been found wanting and I assumed they would at least end the service with a strong, experienced speaker. I was wrong. This guy was the worst, as he was very nervous. His topic was the Holy Ghost and he rambled past our scheduled closing time. The rambling seemed to be solely from nervousness and did not help to clarify my understanding of the subject.

It was strange that all three speakers cried during their talks. This is common at mormon services and seems to be a validation for the speaker's "sincerity. The crux of believing the truth of mormonism comes not from reason and study but from emotions and a "burning in the bosom". I figure this explains why mormons have evolved to be overly emotional at the podium. It is almost used as proof of the truth of their words.

After the closing hymn (gag) and the benediction, the meeting was over ten minutes past schedule. There was an awkward moment when Sally just sat there. Not being raised mormon; she didn't understand the urgency that is necessary to leave the meeting.

If we sat there longer, the usher would likely return to escort us to the investigator's class (for potential converts) and my stomach was already growling. I didn't want to overtly yell "Run for your life!" so I calmly said "I suggest that we go now." We left and returned to my house where we discussed the service and rehashed the experience.

Infinite Church--A New Day in Worship

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.

For some reason, I didn't want to go to church the morning of Super bowl Sunday (February 3rd). My friend "Sally" was out of town and "Bob" doesn't want to go to other churches. Besides, my coworker threw an awesome Super bowl party.

After the Super bowl, I decided to see if there were any online churches. And you wouldn't believe it but there are many. The first one listed in Yahoo was called Infinite Church at http://www.infinitechurch.com/ so I went to that one.

It was funny because you had some options to change your appearance and "walk" around the church. I will try to paste images of the different places to go. The outside of the church was scenic and there was some dude named Joshua waiting for me. He asked if it was my first time and gave me some directions.

Inside the church there was a sanctuary with signs to other destinations. I only went to the chapel but there was also a foyer and an area for bible study. The chapel had about 20 people and a pastor and I was late so I "sat down".

The sermon was centered on... (you guessed it) football. I guess the coolest thing about online churches (or at least this one) is that I was able to save the text of everything said in the chapel. Pasted below is a transcript of that wonderful sermon. As you might have guessed, my name in the service was Jim. Here goes...

Pastor Ron: The other announcer remarked, "Yeah, and that's with someone knocking him down every 4.6 yards!"

Pastor Ron: Walter Payton, the most successful running back ever, knows that everyone - even the best - gets knocked down.

Joshua: hi Jim, welcome to ..:namespace prefix = u1 />Infinite Church

Pastor Ron: hi Jim, welcome!

Joshua: come make yourself at home!

Pastor Ron: The key to success is to get up and run again just as hard!

Jim: thanks, i hope i'm not too late

Pastor Ron: Our Lord said, "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33).

Pastor Ron: for those of you just arriving, this isn't a typical service, we're doing it Superbowl style with commercials

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Jennifer: lol.. great idea... last one was wonderful

Pastor Ron: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=84641a2a8c4d3fe65317

Joshua: Good video, Ron

Pastor Ron: thanks

Pastor Ron: The views expressed in that last commercial are not held by this church!

Joshua: Amen to that

Pastor Ron: The third analogy we need to look at is this:

Pastor Ron: • LET NOTHING KEEP YOU FROM REACHING THE GOAL!

Pastor Ron: Let nothing bad interfere with your life's race!

Pastor Ron: Hebrews 12:1-2 says this:

Pastor Ron: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the...

Pastor Ron: race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and the Perfector of our faith, Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right...

Pastor Ron: hand of the throne of God".

Pastor Ron: Don't let your mistakes interfere with your reaching your goal!

Pastor Ron: Anyone here tonight ever heard the story of "Wrong Way Riegels"?

Joshua: Amen

Pastor Ron: Well, even if you have, it bears repeating ;)

Jennifer: 1929 rose bowl

Pastor Ron: On New Years Day, 1929, Georgia Tech played UCLA in the Rose Bowl.

Pastor Ron: that's right, Jennifer!

Pastor Ron: welcome J-M

Joshua: hey J-M welcome!

Pastor Ron: In that game a young man named Roy Riegels recovered a fumble for UCLA.

Pastor Ron: Picking up the loose ball, he lost his direction and ran sixty-five yards toward the wrong goal line.

Pastor Ron: One of his teammates, Benny Lom, ran him down and tackled him just before he scored for the opposing team.

Mbdil: oh man

Pastor Ron: Several plays later, the Bruins had to punt.

Pastor Ron: Tech blocked the kick and scored a safety, demoralizing the UCLA team.

Pastor Ron: The strange play came in the first half.

Pastor Ron: At half-time the UCLA players filed off the field and into their dressing room.

Pastor Ron: As others sat down on the benches and the floor, Riegels sat down in a corner, and put his face in his hands.

Pastor Ron: A football coach usually has a great deal to say to his team during halftime.

Pastor Ron: That day, Coach Price was quiet.

Pastor Ron: No doubt he was trying to decide what to do with Riegels.

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Pastor Ron: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XHkMPA1334&feature=PlayList&p=59F51FF91B709AAE&index=9

Joshua: lol I wondered when they'd create a parody of this

Pastor Ron: lol

Mbdil: that's hilarious

Pastor Ron: lol

Scott: very funny lol

Pastor Ron: Again, the views expressed at this last commercial are not held by this church!

Jennifer: lol.. memyselfandi.com

Pastor Ron: When the timekeeper came in and announced that there were three minutes before playing time, Coach Price looked at the team and said, "Men, the same team that played the first half will start the...

Joshua: right Jennifer

Pastor Ron: lol Jennifer

Pastor Ron: The players got up and started out, all but Riegels.

Pastor Ron: When the timekeeper came in and announced that there were three minutes before playing time, Coach Price looked at the team and said, "Men, the same team that played the first half will start the...

Pastor Ron: second."

Pastor Ron: The players got up and started out, all but Riegels.

Pastor Ron: He didn't budge.

Pastor Ron: The coach looked back and called to him, Riegels still didn't move.

Pastor Ron: Coach Price went over to where Riegels sat and said, "Roy, didn't you hear me? The same team that played the first half will start the second."

Pastor Ron:

Roy Riegels looked up, his cheeks were wet with tears.

Pastor Ron: "Coach," he said, "I can't do it. I've ruined you. I've ruined the university's reputation. I've ruined myself. I can't face that crowd out there."

Pastor Ron: Coach Price reached out, put his hand on Riegel's shoulder, and said, "Roy, get up and go on back. The game is only half over."

Pastor Ron: Riegels finally did get up.

Pastor Ron: He went onto the field, and the fans saw him play hard and play well!

Pastor Ron: All of us have run a long way in the wrong direction, for the wrong team before, amen?

Pastor Ron: Scoring points for the opposing team. . .

*Bunny: amen

Jim: amen

Pastor Ron: Because of God's mercy, though, the game is only half over!

Jennifer: amen

Scott: amen

Pastor Ron: Don't let other people's opinions interfere with reaching the goal!

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Pastor Ron: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KjIdNMuLJM

Mbdil: I've seen this one

Pastor Ron: yeah, it's cool

Pastor Ron: There's a story about Babe Pinelli, a baseball referee, and his encounter with Babe Ruth one day.

Pastor Ron: Babe Pinelli called Babe Ruth out on strikes, Ruth made an argument stating "There's 40,000 people here who know that last one was a ball, tomato head."

Pastor Ron: Pinelli calmly replied: "Maybe so, but mine is the only opinion that counts."

Mbdil: true

Pastor Ron: Christians are also pressed by the weight of numbers aligned against the moral law of God.

Pastor Ron: But the Christian knows that in the end, only One opinion counts!

Pastor Ron: That of the beneficent Umpire of all human affairs!

Pastor Ron: If you want the Biblical application of that, here it is:

Pastor Ron: In 1 Corinthians 4:3-4, Paul said: "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me...

Pastor Ron: innocent. It is the Lord who judges me".

Pastor Ron: Let nothing GOOD interfere with your life's race!

Pastor Ron: You may think that is a strange statement. . . until you realize that sometimes the good is the enemy . . . at best!

Pastor Ron: Listen to what the apostle Paul says in Philippians 3:13-14.

Pastor Ron: "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for...

Pastor Ron: which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus".

Pastor Ron: When he made that statement about forgetting what was behind, he was talking about his personal accomplishments in the ceremonial religion. . . in other words. . . religious traditions.

Pastor Ron: "For. . . we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus. . . put no confidence in the flesh - though I myself have reasons for such confidence in the flesh, I have...

Pastor Ron: more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for...

Pastor Ron: legalistic righteousness, faultless. But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ" (Philippians 3:3-7).

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Pastor Ron: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=0f36dd41fba0d5e94308

Jennifer: rofl

Pastor Ron: lol

Jennifer: the best one so far

Scott: lol

Pastor Ron: An author by the name of Andrew Bagnato told the following story in an essay he entitled "Good Guys Finish First (Sometimes)".

Scott: yes it was

Pastor Ron: "Following a rags-to-riches season that led them to the Rose Bowl - their first in decades - Northwestern University's Wildcats met with coach Gary Barnett for the opening of spring...

Pastor Ron: training. As players found their seats, Barnett announced that he was going to hand out the awards that many Wildcats had earned in 1995. Some players exchanged glances. Barnett does not...

Pastor Ron: normally dwell on the past. But as the coach continued to call players forward and handed them placards proclaiming their achievements, they were cheered on by their teammates. One of the other..

Pastor Ron: coaches gave Barnett a placard representing his seventeen national coach-of-the-year awards. Then, as the applause subsided, Barnett walked to a trash can marked '1995'. He took an admiring...

Pastor Ron: glance at his placard, then dumped it into the can. In the silence that followed, one by one, the team's stars dumped their placards on top of Barnett's. Barnett had shouted a message without...

Pastor Ron: uttering a word: 'What you did in 1995 was terrific, lads. But look at the calendar: It's 1996.'"

Pastor Ron: It's great to celebrate the accomplishments of the past.

Pastor Ron: But with God, our best days are always AHEAD!

Pastor Ron: It's 2008 People: "what's in your... calendar?"

Pastor Ron: Acts 20:24 states: "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's...

Pastor Ron: grace".

Pastor Ron: A player who played for the San Francisco 49ers, Jerry Rice, was considered by many an expert the best receiver in the NFL.

Pastor Ron: small, obscure university like Mississippi Valley State University in Itta Bena, Mississippi?"

Pastor Ron: Interviewers from BET (Black Entertainment Television) once asked Rice, "Why did you attend a small, obscure university like Mississippi Valley State University in Itta Bena, Mississippi?"

Pastor Ron: Rice responded, "Out of all the big-time schools (such as UCLA) to recruit me, MVSU was the only school to come to my house and give me a personal visit."

Pastor Ron: The big-time schools sent cards, letters, and advertisements, but only one showed Rice personal attention.

Pastor Ron: If we want to share our faith with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances etc., there's still nothing like doing so personally!

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Pastor Ron: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTZMlYqjhYg&NR=1

Pastor Ron: I would like to end with these verses:

Pastor Ron: 1 Timothy 4:7-8 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will...

Pastor Ron: award to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing".

Pastor Ron: I hope and pray when that day comes, that each and every one of us can say that with confidence, amen?

Jim: amen

Joshua: Amen

Pastor Ron: Let's prepare to take communion.

Jennifer: amen

Scott: amen

Pastor Ron: If you are new here, how we take communion, is we each get the elements ready for ourselves, then we partake of them together

Pastor Ron: I would like to give anyone who isn't ready and who would like to get ready to do so, to go ahead and do that

Pastor Ron: while we let you prepare, Joshua has a short video for us

Pastor Ron: Joshua?

Joshua: Here's a different twist on tonight's football theme...

Joshua: Lord is leading me to play...

Joshua: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1AxW4O68jc

Joshua: hey Brandy!

Pastor Ron: welcome Brandy

Mbdil: Hey Brandy

Joshua: welcome

* Jim * hi brandy

*Bunny: welcome

Brandy: Hi guys

Brandy: should be ok...send me an sms first

Mbdil: great song

Pastor Ron: yes, great song

Joshua: glory to God

Jennifer: Woot for team earth!

Jennifer: thanks joshua

Pastor Ron: Ok, let's read 1 Corinthians 11:23-29

Pastor Ron: 23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread;

Pastor Ron: 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, "Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me."

Pastor Ron: 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me."

Pastor Ron: 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death till He comes.

Pastor Ron: 27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.

Pastor Ron: 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup.

Pastor Ron: 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner F36 eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord's F37 body.

Pastor Ron: Let's take a few moments for everyone to prepare themselves to partake of the Lord's Supper, make sure your heart is right

Pastor Ron: Joshua, do you have a link for us during this time?

Joshua: Yes...

Joshua: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxFvI5L0u-U&feature=related

Pastor Ron: Lord, we ask that You speak to each of us

Pastor Ron: show us our faults

Pastor Ron: help us to make things right with You, that none of us would partake of this, the Lord's Supper in an unworthy manner

Pastor Ron: Lord, if we have something against someone else, speak to us, help us to make it right

Pastor Ron: Lord, we thank You for Your great gift to us

Joshua: Help me to forgive others as You forgive me, Lord

Pastor Ron: Your body and Your blood

Pastor Ron: as a Lamb to the slaughter, You went in our place

Pastor Ron: and we thank You and we praise You for that

Pastor Ron: in Jesus' name

Pastor Ron: amen

Jennifer: amen

Jim: amen

Joshua: Amen

Scott: amen

Pastor Ron: 23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread;

Pastor Ron: 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, "Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me."

Pastor Ron: Rick, would you pray over the bread?

Rick and Diane: sure

Rick and Diane: Thank You Lord for your forgiveness of our sins..

Pastor Ron: yes Lord

Rick and Diane: and making us whole again with you. Bless these bread we pray in Jesus name , Amen

Pastor Ron: thank You

Pastor Ron: amen

Joshua: Amen.

Mbdil: Amen

Pastor Ron: let's go ahead and partake of the cup together

Jim: amen

Pastor Ron: 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me."

Pastor Ron: 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death till He comes.

Pastor Ron: 27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.

Pastor Ron: Joshua, will you pray over the cup?

Joshua: Sure.

Joshua: Lord Jesus...

Joshua: We thank You, praise You, we worship You...

Pastor Ron: yes Lord

Joshua: for Your unspeakable Gift...

Joshua: We cannot fathom or describe it...

Joshua: but Lord we do know one thing...

Joshua: we love You because You first loved us...

Joshua: and gave Yourself for us...dying in our place...

Pastor Ron: yes Lord

Joshua: and I pray that we would think about that...

Joshua: as we commemorate this time to supping of Your Cup

Joshua: in Jesus' Name

Joshua: Amen

Jim: amen

Pastor Ron: amen

Jennifer: amen

Scott: amen

Pastor Ron: Let's go ahead and partake of the cup together

Pastor Ron: amen, thank You Jesus!

Pastor Ron: Let's take some time and praise Him for His gift to us while we listen to one more song

Joshua: Lord, You're worthy!

Joshua: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6QE2k1FepQ

Joshua: !I love You, Lord!

Joshua: You are alpha, omaga, the beginning and the end!

Joshua: take joy in our communion tonight, Lord

Pastor Ron: Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty Who was and is and is to come!

Joshua: You are the King of glory...worthy is the Lamb that was slain!

You'll notice I didn't contribute much more than a couple of amens (just because I was caught up in the spirit). You'll also notice there were several links to youtube or godtube videos. Feel free to check out those videos for yourself. After the service, I promptly left the website and had some bourbon. By the way, I did not partake of the communion.