The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints- Galveston 1st Ward

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.

After more than twelve years of personal apostasy, I attended services at my local mormon ward (here in Chandler). It was actually Sally who asked to go. I think I inspired her to try new things because she was eager to see what mormon church was like. Anyhow, on February 17th we attended an LDS church. We didn't go to church the week before because we tried to go to the mormon church but got lost.

We took the wimp clause and only attended the first hour of the three hour services. Mormons divide their meetings into three one-hour blocks. The first is sacrament meeting, the second is Sunday school and the third is for priesthood (men) and the relief society (women) which meets separately.

Sally was surprised at how small the chapel was. That and the fact that we didn't adhere to the mormon dress code made us stand out as obvious outsiders. I was cool with it but Sally was very nervous. An usher met us at the door and was asking us the nature of our visit (in a friendly but nosy way). Sally caved under pressure and blurted out that I was a mormon.

I responded that I was actually not a mormon and Sally made sure the usher knew that my parents still were part of the church. I guess she thought we were going to get in trouble for "crashing" their church. I wasn't happy with her because I would prefer that my former affiliation with mormons remain undisclosed.

The services soon started and I was reminded of something I had forgotten about mormons; they suck at singing church hymns. It actually felt like torture to hear the straining, apathetic voices sing in a droning unison. A quick look at the program confirmed my fear that we would be singing three other songs throughout the services. To make matters worse, this congregation decided to sing all the verses of every song while the ward of my youth only sang the first verse.

After singing, the bishop conducted some administrative business. A young man was going to be given the priesthood but needed the vote of the congregation first. I had forgotten about those ward votes and it felt like such an eerie thing. Although, it is funny because it seems to diminish the divinity of the appointment.

The distribution of the sacrament went without a hitch. Sally again was nervous but I just instructed her to signal the deacon that we were declining the sacrament tray and he went away. Sally commented how weird it was that there was no music. I hadn't thought about it but (now that I have been to a couple of other churches) I realized how unnatural and un-spiritual this was.

Finally, we were going to hear the sermons (or as the mormon call them, "talks"). There were three speakers from the congregation (as sermons are not given by clergy); a young woman, an older woman, and an even older man.

The young lady spoke about some conference she had attended and how much she was inspired by the church leaders at that conference. The next lady spoke about how we could better know God. She gave some bogus example of being asked by the bishop to have a personal meeting with God at the temple. In this example, you would be able to speak with Him and even hold Him in your arms.

After those first two speakers we caught a break because instead of another boring congregational hymn, there was a program change that a woman would sing a special song for us. I don't remember the song but I remember not being tortured by our untrained voices. During this time, I pondered about the third speaker.

The first two had been found wanting and I assumed they would at least end the service with a strong, experienced speaker. I was wrong. This guy was the worst, as he was very nervous. His topic was the Holy Ghost and he rambled past our scheduled closing time. The rambling seemed to be solely from nervousness and did not help to clarify my understanding of the subject.

It was strange that all three speakers cried during their talks. This is common at mormon services and seems to be a validation for the speaker's "sincerity. The crux of believing the truth of mormonism comes not from reason and study but from emotions and a "burning in the bosom". I figure this explains why mormons have evolved to be overly emotional at the podium. It is almost used as proof of the truth of their words.

After the closing hymn (gag) and the benediction, the meeting was over ten minutes past schedule. There was an awkward moment when Sally just sat there. Not being raised mormon; she didn't understand the urgency that is necessary to leave the meeting.

If we sat there longer, the usher would likely return to escort us to the investigator's class (for potential converts) and my stomach was already growling. I didn't want to overtly yell "Run for your life!" so I calmly said "I suggest that we go now." We left and returned to my house where we discussed the service and rehashed the experience.

Infinite Church--A New Day in Worship

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.

For some reason, I didn't want to go to church the morning of Super bowl Sunday (February 3rd). My friend "Sally" was out of town and "Bob" doesn't want to go to other churches. Besides, my coworker threw an awesome Super bowl party.

After the Super bowl, I decided to see if there were any online churches. And you wouldn't believe it but there are many. The first one listed in Yahoo was called Infinite Church at http://www.infinitechurch.com/ so I went to that one.

It was funny because you had some options to change your appearance and "walk" around the church. I will try to paste images of the different places to go. The outside of the church was scenic and there was some dude named Joshua waiting for me. He asked if it was my first time and gave me some directions.

Inside the church there was a sanctuary with signs to other destinations. I only went to the chapel but there was also a foyer and an area for bible study. The chapel had about 20 people and a pastor and I was late so I "sat down".

The sermon was centered on... (you guessed it) football. I guess the coolest thing about online churches (or at least this one) is that I was able to save the text of everything said in the chapel. Pasted below is a transcript of that wonderful sermon. As you might have guessed, my name in the service was Jim. Here goes...

Pastor Ron: The other announcer remarked, "Yeah, and that's with someone knocking him down every 4.6 yards!"

Pastor Ron: Walter Payton, the most successful running back ever, knows that everyone - even the best - gets knocked down.

Joshua: hi Jim, welcome to ..:namespace prefix = u1 />Infinite Church

Pastor Ron: hi Jim, welcome!

Joshua: come make yourself at home!

Pastor Ron: The key to success is to get up and run again just as hard!

Jim: thanks, i hope i'm not too late

Pastor Ron: Our Lord said, "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33).

Pastor Ron: for those of you just arriving, this isn't a typical service, we're doing it Superbowl style with commercials

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Jennifer: lol.. great idea... last one was wonderful

Pastor Ron: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=84641a2a8c4d3fe65317

Joshua: Good video, Ron

Pastor Ron: thanks

Pastor Ron: The views expressed in that last commercial are not held by this church!

Joshua: Amen to that

Pastor Ron: The third analogy we need to look at is this:

Pastor Ron: • LET NOTHING KEEP YOU FROM REACHING THE GOAL!

Pastor Ron: Let nothing bad interfere with your life's race!

Pastor Ron: Hebrews 12:1-2 says this:

Pastor Ron: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the...

Pastor Ron: race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and the Perfector of our faith, Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right...

Pastor Ron: hand of the throne of God".

Pastor Ron: Don't let your mistakes interfere with your reaching your goal!

Pastor Ron: Anyone here tonight ever heard the story of "Wrong Way Riegels"?

Joshua: Amen

Pastor Ron: Well, even if you have, it bears repeating ;)

Jennifer: 1929 rose bowl

Pastor Ron: On New Years Day, 1929, Georgia Tech played UCLA in the Rose Bowl.

Pastor Ron: that's right, Jennifer!

Pastor Ron: welcome J-M

Joshua: hey J-M welcome!

Pastor Ron: In that game a young man named Roy Riegels recovered a fumble for UCLA.

Pastor Ron: Picking up the loose ball, he lost his direction and ran sixty-five yards toward the wrong goal line.

Pastor Ron: One of his teammates, Benny Lom, ran him down and tackled him just before he scored for the opposing team.

Mbdil: oh man

Pastor Ron: Several plays later, the Bruins had to punt.

Pastor Ron: Tech blocked the kick and scored a safety, demoralizing the UCLA team.

Pastor Ron: The strange play came in the first half.

Pastor Ron: At half-time the UCLA players filed off the field and into their dressing room.

Pastor Ron: As others sat down on the benches and the floor, Riegels sat down in a corner, and put his face in his hands.

Pastor Ron: A football coach usually has a great deal to say to his team during halftime.

Pastor Ron: That day, Coach Price was quiet.

Pastor Ron: No doubt he was trying to decide what to do with Riegels.

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Pastor Ron: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XHkMPA1334&feature=PlayList&p=59F51FF91B709AAE&index=9

Joshua: lol I wondered when they'd create a parody of this

Pastor Ron: lol

Mbdil: that's hilarious

Pastor Ron: lol

Scott: very funny lol

Pastor Ron: Again, the views expressed at this last commercial are not held by this church!

Jennifer: lol.. memyselfandi.com

Pastor Ron: When the timekeeper came in and announced that there were three minutes before playing time, Coach Price looked at the team and said, "Men, the same team that played the first half will start the...

Joshua: right Jennifer

Pastor Ron: lol Jennifer

Pastor Ron: The players got up and started out, all but Riegels.

Pastor Ron: When the timekeeper came in and announced that there were three minutes before playing time, Coach Price looked at the team and said, "Men, the same team that played the first half will start the...

Pastor Ron: second."

Pastor Ron: The players got up and started out, all but Riegels.

Pastor Ron: He didn't budge.

Pastor Ron: The coach looked back and called to him, Riegels still didn't move.

Pastor Ron: Coach Price went over to where Riegels sat and said, "Roy, didn't you hear me? The same team that played the first half will start the second."

Pastor Ron:

Roy Riegels looked up, his cheeks were wet with tears.

Pastor Ron: "Coach," he said, "I can't do it. I've ruined you. I've ruined the university's reputation. I've ruined myself. I can't face that crowd out there."

Pastor Ron: Coach Price reached out, put his hand on Riegel's shoulder, and said, "Roy, get up and go on back. The game is only half over."

Pastor Ron: Riegels finally did get up.

Pastor Ron: He went onto the field, and the fans saw him play hard and play well!

Pastor Ron: All of us have run a long way in the wrong direction, for the wrong team before, amen?

Pastor Ron: Scoring points for the opposing team. . .

*Bunny: amen

Jim: amen

Pastor Ron: Because of God's mercy, though, the game is only half over!

Jennifer: amen

Scott: amen

Pastor Ron: Don't let other people's opinions interfere with reaching the goal!

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Pastor Ron: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KjIdNMuLJM

Mbdil: I've seen this one

Pastor Ron: yeah, it's cool

Pastor Ron: There's a story about Babe Pinelli, a baseball referee, and his encounter with Babe Ruth one day.

Pastor Ron: Babe Pinelli called Babe Ruth out on strikes, Ruth made an argument stating "There's 40,000 people here who know that last one was a ball, tomato head."

Pastor Ron: Pinelli calmly replied: "Maybe so, but mine is the only opinion that counts."

Mbdil: true

Pastor Ron: Christians are also pressed by the weight of numbers aligned against the moral law of God.

Pastor Ron: But the Christian knows that in the end, only One opinion counts!

Pastor Ron: That of the beneficent Umpire of all human affairs!

Pastor Ron: If you want the Biblical application of that, here it is:

Pastor Ron: In 1 Corinthians 4:3-4, Paul said: "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me...

Pastor Ron: innocent. It is the Lord who judges me".

Pastor Ron: Let nothing GOOD interfere with your life's race!

Pastor Ron: You may think that is a strange statement. . . until you realize that sometimes the good is the enemy . . . at best!

Pastor Ron: Listen to what the apostle Paul says in Philippians 3:13-14.

Pastor Ron: "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for...

Pastor Ron: which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus".

Pastor Ron: When he made that statement about forgetting what was behind, he was talking about his personal accomplishments in the ceremonial religion. . . in other words. . . religious traditions.

Pastor Ron: "For. . . we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus. . . put no confidence in the flesh - though I myself have reasons for such confidence in the flesh, I have...

Pastor Ron: more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for...

Pastor Ron: legalistic righteousness, faultless. But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ" (Philippians 3:3-7).

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Pastor Ron: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=0f36dd41fba0d5e94308

Jennifer: rofl

Pastor Ron: lol

Jennifer: the best one so far

Scott: lol

Pastor Ron: An author by the name of Andrew Bagnato told the following story in an essay he entitled "Good Guys Finish First (Sometimes)".

Scott: yes it was

Pastor Ron: "Following a rags-to-riches season that led them to the Rose Bowl - their first in decades - Northwestern University's Wildcats met with coach Gary Barnett for the opening of spring...

Pastor Ron: training. As players found their seats, Barnett announced that he was going to hand out the awards that many Wildcats had earned in 1995. Some players exchanged glances. Barnett does not...

Pastor Ron: normally dwell on the past. But as the coach continued to call players forward and handed them placards proclaiming their achievements, they were cheered on by their teammates. One of the other..

Pastor Ron: coaches gave Barnett a placard representing his seventeen national coach-of-the-year awards. Then, as the applause subsided, Barnett walked to a trash can marked '1995'. He took an admiring...

Pastor Ron: glance at his placard, then dumped it into the can. In the silence that followed, one by one, the team's stars dumped their placards on top of Barnett's. Barnett had shouted a message without...

Pastor Ron: uttering a word: 'What you did in 1995 was terrific, lads. But look at the calendar: It's 1996.'"

Pastor Ron: It's great to celebrate the accomplishments of the past.

Pastor Ron: But with God, our best days are always AHEAD!

Pastor Ron: It's 2008 People: "what's in your... calendar?"

Pastor Ron: Acts 20:24 states: "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's...

Pastor Ron: grace".

Pastor Ron: A player who played for the San Francisco 49ers, Jerry Rice, was considered by many an expert the best receiver in the NFL.

Pastor Ron: small, obscure university like Mississippi Valley State University in Itta Bena, Mississippi?"

Pastor Ron: Interviewers from BET (Black Entertainment Television) once asked Rice, "Why did you attend a small, obscure university like Mississippi Valley State University in Itta Bena, Mississippi?"

Pastor Ron: Rice responded, "Out of all the big-time schools (such as UCLA) to recruit me, MVSU was the only school to come to my house and give me a personal visit."

Pastor Ron: The big-time schools sent cards, letters, and advertisements, but only one showed Rice personal attention.

Pastor Ron: If we want to share our faith with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances etc., there's still nothing like doing so personally!

Pastor Ron: And now a word from our sponsors. . .

Pastor Ron: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTZMlYqjhYg&NR=1

Pastor Ron: I would like to end with these verses:

Pastor Ron: 1 Timothy 4:7-8 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will...

Pastor Ron: award to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing".

Pastor Ron: I hope and pray when that day comes, that each and every one of us can say that with confidence, amen?

Jim: amen

Joshua: Amen

Pastor Ron: Let's prepare to take communion.

Jennifer: amen

Scott: amen

Pastor Ron: If you are new here, how we take communion, is we each get the elements ready for ourselves, then we partake of them together

Pastor Ron: I would like to give anyone who isn't ready and who would like to get ready to do so, to go ahead and do that

Pastor Ron: while we let you prepare, Joshua has a short video for us

Pastor Ron: Joshua?

Joshua: Here's a different twist on tonight's football theme...

Joshua: Lord is leading me to play...

Joshua: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1AxW4O68jc

Joshua: hey Brandy!

Pastor Ron: welcome Brandy

Mbdil: Hey Brandy

Joshua: welcome

* Jim * hi brandy

*Bunny: welcome

Brandy: Hi guys

Brandy: should be ok...send me an sms first

Mbdil: great song

Pastor Ron: yes, great song

Joshua: glory to God

Jennifer: Woot for team earth!

Jennifer: thanks joshua

Pastor Ron: Ok, let's read 1 Corinthians 11:23-29

Pastor Ron: 23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread;

Pastor Ron: 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, "Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me."

Pastor Ron: 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me."

Pastor Ron: 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death till He comes.

Pastor Ron: 27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.

Pastor Ron: 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup.

Pastor Ron: 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner F36 eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord's F37 body.

Pastor Ron: Let's take a few moments for everyone to prepare themselves to partake of the Lord's Supper, make sure your heart is right

Pastor Ron: Joshua, do you have a link for us during this time?

Joshua: Yes...

Joshua: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxFvI5L0u-U&feature=related

Pastor Ron: Lord, we ask that You speak to each of us

Pastor Ron: show us our faults

Pastor Ron: help us to make things right with You, that none of us would partake of this, the Lord's Supper in an unworthy manner

Pastor Ron: Lord, if we have something against someone else, speak to us, help us to make it right

Pastor Ron: Lord, we thank You for Your great gift to us

Joshua: Help me to forgive others as You forgive me, Lord

Pastor Ron: Your body and Your blood

Pastor Ron: as a Lamb to the slaughter, You went in our place

Pastor Ron: and we thank You and we praise You for that

Pastor Ron: in Jesus' name

Pastor Ron: amen

Jennifer: amen

Jim: amen

Joshua: Amen

Scott: amen

Pastor Ron: 23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread;

Pastor Ron: 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, "Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me."

Pastor Ron: Rick, would you pray over the bread?

Rick and Diane: sure

Rick and Diane: Thank You Lord for your forgiveness of our sins..

Pastor Ron: yes Lord

Rick and Diane: and making us whole again with you. Bless these bread we pray in Jesus name , Amen

Pastor Ron: thank You

Pastor Ron: amen

Joshua: Amen.

Mbdil: Amen

Pastor Ron: let's go ahead and partake of the cup together

Jim: amen

Pastor Ron: 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me."

Pastor Ron: 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death till He comes.

Pastor Ron: 27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.

Pastor Ron: Joshua, will you pray over the cup?

Joshua: Sure.

Joshua: Lord Jesus...

Joshua: We thank You, praise You, we worship You...

Pastor Ron: yes Lord

Joshua: for Your unspeakable Gift...

Joshua: We cannot fathom or describe it...

Joshua: but Lord we do know one thing...

Joshua: we love You because You first loved us...

Joshua: and gave Yourself for us...dying in our place...

Pastor Ron: yes Lord

Joshua: and I pray that we would think about that...

Joshua: as we commemorate this time to supping of Your Cup

Joshua: in Jesus' Name

Joshua: Amen

Jim: amen

Pastor Ron: amen

Jennifer: amen

Scott: amen

Pastor Ron: Let's go ahead and partake of the cup together

Pastor Ron: amen, thank You Jesus!

Pastor Ron: Let's take some time and praise Him for His gift to us while we listen to one more song

Joshua: Lord, You're worthy!

Joshua: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6QE2k1FepQ

Joshua: !I love You, Lord!

Joshua: You are alpha, omaga, the beginning and the end!

Joshua: take joy in our communion tonight, Lord

Pastor Ron: Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty Who was and is and is to come!

Joshua: You are the King of glory...worthy is the Lamb that was slain!

You'll notice I didn't contribute much more than a couple of amens (just because I was caught up in the spirit). You'll also notice there were several links to youtube or godtube videos. Feel free to check out those videos for yourself. After the service, I promptly left the website and had some bourbon. By the way, I did not partake of the communion.