Saint Timothy Catholic Community

It has been about 12 years since I last went to church. Having only attended mormon services, I decided to start my journey at a catholic church. This one happens to be in Mesa, AZ and is under the pastoral care of Father Jack Spaulding. I was fortunate to be joined by a friend whom I’ll call “Sally” and I was pleasantly surprised by the service we attended.

We decided to take the advice of my wife by attending this church for a Sunday evening mass geared for teens. She had taken our sons there on a couple of occasions and they seemed to enjoy it. Since they have no religious background it seemed like a good place for an atheist like me to start.

Sidebar: I was very tempted to start my weekly trips by attending a mormon church but resisted the urge. Though, I would have known what to expect, it seemed counter-intuitive. One of the reasons for doing this is that I had no exposure to other churches. Therefore, logic dictated that I begin my quest in unfamiliar territory.

My first impression of the chapel was that it was spacious but cozy. Sally complained about the rows of chairs; preferring pews. There was an upper level that resembled an auditorium with stadium seating and what could have been an equally spacious lower level (we stayed up top). We made sure to sit in the back to facilitate a quick exit, if necessary.

In plain view of both levels was a central area for the band and clergy. The main wall was painted with a picture depicting Jesus ascending to heaven in view of some angels and several catholic saints. Dangling from the main beam was another Jesus who was nailed to a cross with a bloody sword wound in his side.

No one spoke to us which was fine by me. Although I intend to become more involved in theological dialog, minimal contact was fine with me. Besides some group signing and brief introductions with nearby church-goers, Sally and I only whispered to each other.

The beginning of the service was odd because it reminded me of the Tonight Show. In the same fashion as Jay Leno, Fr. Jack engaged his band leader with light banter and even cracked a couple of jokes. We were then lead into song for a few short hymns to get everyone’s emotions geared up for worship. It was very effective.

Fr. Jack introduced some other members of the clergy and led us in several catholic prayers (none of which I knew). Some members of the congregation and one of the clergy took turns reading scriptures; between which we were given short musical interludes for spiritual emphasis. I was surprised by the verbal cues given by each speaker that prompted scripted responses from the congregation.

This all led up to Fr. Jack’s simple sermon. He told us that since this was the feast of the epiphany we should focus on gifts. Specifically, we should all appreciate the gifts and talents that god has given us. According to our pastor, if we use our god-given talents we will get more. If we do not use them we will lose them. This certainly is not an original concept and did not inspire me to spiritual heights. I will say that I was moved by the music; almost to the point of getting emotional. At any rate, the music was the best part of the service.

At the end, they passed a donation basket and prepared for their communion (or whatever it is called by catholics). The funny thing was that it was Sally who suggested we leave early. I had no intention of partaking in the bread and wine but not for the obvious reasons. I do not accept Jesus (or any god) as my savior and would not want to disrespect any church by falsely partaking in their observances. I understand that those rites have meaning to them and feel it is most respectful to abstain. I didn’t leave a donation in the basket either.

Sally must have felt the same way but unlike me became very antsy when the communion was being prepared. She leaned over and whispered “Do you want to go now?” in a voice that was probably more audible than she intended. I quickly obliged and we quietly walked outside where we were greeted with some much appreciated desert rain.

Following the service, we went to Starbuck’s for coffee where we were joined by my wife. She had chosen not to join us because she didn’t want to have any direct impact on my experience. After describing the experience we bid Sally goodnight and returned home.

In retrospect, there were many differences of worship between this catholic service and what I remember of mormon services. I’ll try to touch on them below but might add future comments if I remember something later.

Catholic service:
Used a full complement of musicians
Gave prayers that were memorized and recited
Despite scripture readings from a few, relied on the pastor to deliver the sermon
Relied heavily on and expected scripted responses from the congregation
The congregation applauded on many occasions throughout the service
Physically passed a collection basket for donations

Mormon service:
Typically only uses a pianist or organist
Does not use recited prayers for the masses but encourages individual and personal prayers
Assigns a few members of the congregation to give scriptural talks each week
Mormons do not applaud in the chapel and only interject an “amen” at the end of a prayer or talk
Tithing and other donations are not handled during services but after the meeting on an individual basis (this is reconciled in a tithing settlement at the end of the year)

Religious Investigations

I have decided to attend a different church every week and write about my experiences. This decision follows a two-year period of scripture reading, religious research, and diverse podcasts/ blogs.
First, let me provide some background to myself. I was born into an LDS family; my parents being new converts to mormonism. Although I was baptized at eight, received the priesthood (deacon, teacher, priest), and attended seminary in high school, I don't think I ever really had faith.
When I was younger, I just wanted to please my parents (as any child would) but didn't have my own testimony or faith. As a teen-ager, I was less obedient but was forced to adhere to my father's religious tenets.
At the age of 16, I stopped attending Sunday services (thanks to my part-time job at McDonald's) and rarely attended seminary classes. Early in my senior year of high school, I joined the Army and left for boot camp soon after my eighteenth birthday.
For years, I did not even think about religion. I was not religious when I was in Desert Storm, not when I got married, ant not when either of my sons were born. For me, religion was just a non-issue.
It wasn't until I was recently stationed in California (4 years ago) when I had discussions with christian friends that it occurred to me that I really didn't know what they believed. I had assumed that most christians had similar theologies to mormons but quickly realized that was not true. From a theological perspective, mormons are not christians.
When I spent 4 months stationed in Texas without my family, I developed insomnia and thought if I read the bible it would put me to sleep. However, I became intrigued with what I read and finished the whole book in a couple of months. The interesting thing is that book had the opposite effect than one would think. I became aware of inconsistencies and untruths that baffled me. "How could others so readily believe these things?" I began to wonder.
When I confided in my mother my opinions about the bible, she said that if I read the book of mormon I would understand the bible as the word of god. She was wrong…
In the interest of time, I downloaded an audio version of the mormon scriptures to my iPod so I could listen while at work. I remember almost weeping as I listened when I realized that everything I had been taught as a kid was an obvious lie. Although painful, I managed to listen to the entire book of mormon in a couple of weeks.
That sparked a deeper interest in religion; specifically mormonism, islam, christianity and judaism (I’ve even looked into buddhism and hinduism). In all fairness, I studied and researched these religions from all perspectives. I have listened to countless sermons and discussions from many faiths online and have considered all opinions seriously.
In the end, my years of agnosticism and apathy gave way to atheism and skepticism. Although most people view those viewpoints as negative perspectives, I see them as positive. I see reason as an asset and blind faith as a liability. I do not agree with what some atheists claim about why they don't believe. For me it is simply an understanding that there is no evidence of any god and that humans can take responsibility for their own lives without faith or false hope in the supernatural.
That brings me to the present. I will be attending a different church from different religions at least on a weekly basis. Afterwards, I will post blogs about my experiences and welcome the viewpoints of other (though I doubt anyone will be reading them). I will not judge or criticize anyone for their beliefs and will not accept judgment or criticism from others. I welcome open-minded discussion and respectfully worded opinions about theology and religion. I respect the right of everyone to worship (or not) as they see fit and I support a separation of church and state in matters of law and government.

A Change of Heart

The following is pasted directly from my blog on MySpace. I am trying to consolidate my blogs.


For years I was apathetic towards religion. I was raised in a mormon church but never really cared too much. I stopped attending services when I was 16 thanks to my part-time job (I asked my boss to schedule me on Sundays). At the age of 18, I joined the US Army (conveniently avoiding the problem of the mormon mission).

I served in the Army for the next nine years and just avoided close-minded, bible-thumper types. I thought about god and religion very little and basically had the viewpoint of an agnostic. I didn't think religions were true for me but didn't care if others believed.

Although my wife of 16 years is not religious, she follows the Navajo traditions and considers herself spiritual. This wasn't a problem for us because I was accepting of her ceremonies and culture and she was content. Discussions of theology and religion were rare and limited in scope.

About four years ago I was sent by the Army for four months of training in Texas. My family couldn't join me so I stayed in a hotel during my stay. While there, I developed insomnia and thought reading the bible would put me to sleep. I grabbed the copy of the bible that was in my room and couldn't put it down.

What surprised me (having never read the bible before) was how it was so obviously wrong. It was apparent that the book was written by men and not inspired by god. It was also clear that those men were intent on controlling the masses and justifying atrocities.

After finishing the bible I told my mom that I didn't believe any of the nonsense I had read. She admitted that she had never read the bible cover-to-cover but assured me that I would have a better perspective after reading the book of mormon. The way she explained it the bible was tainted by men over the centuries but the book of mormon would open my eyes and was "perfectly" translated.

It took me another two years before I finally got around to reading the book of mormon. Actually, I used my iPod by going to the official LDS website and downloading the book of mormon in audio format. I read along with the audio until I was content the audio matched the written words.

I listened while at work and almost cried because I realized that I had been lied to as a kid. The book of mormon is even easier to falsify than the bible. Joseph Smith actually put his own name in the "ancient text" as evidence that he was a prophet. He also referenced Jesus Christ by name in "prophesies" that were very specific to the new testament (a feat that not even the old testament does). The "prophesies" were obviously written after gaining a clear knowledge of the "facts" (probably in 1830 CE).

His use of things that didn't exist in America in 600 BCE included things like horses, iron, chariots, etc. The place names and even some of the characters shared names with places in or near New York state at the time of Smith. Further research online opened my eyes to many other things about Smith and the early church history that I never knew.

I then became resolved to study as much about religions and theology from all walks of life. I have studied judaism, christianity, islam, mormonism, scientology, buddhism, hinduism, and a few others. I have even decided to attend church services from different religions every week. My motive is to understand why people believe so strongly in things to me are obviously false. The more I research the more rooted I become in atheism.

I just wanted to get these things down in black and white while there were still fresh. I feel like I am beginning a journey and I don't know where it will lead. I am willing to discuss my religious research with others but usually find that I am either "preaching to the choir" (pun intended) or talking to a brick wall. I was naive to think others would want to openly discuss their religions.

Even my wife was upset when I told her that I had become an atheist. I don't see much difference between agnosticism and atheism but to her the difference was great. I was shocked to hear her question the validity of our wedding and the future of our marriage. She thought that turning my back on god meant I was turning my back on my commitment to her. The truth is that my devotion and commitment was always to her and not to god.

I've only recently gone to church a few times and will try to post each experience here while the memories are recent. More for myself than anything, I want to accurately record my experiences and research. The discussion forum proved fruitless as I expected at least some intelligent dialog. Instead I got obstinent attitudes and bitter demands for disproof of god in order to disprove christianity. My requests for their evidence were evaded. I am hopeful that this blog will serve my purpose better.