Yesterday I was home alone while my family went to the mall. The idea was that I was supposed to be working on my homework. Since I had been out at the club until 4:30 am and only got a few hours sleep, I quickly fell asleep. (Who wouldn't fall asleep while trying to read a textbook on International Business?)
I must have been in a deep sleep because I was awoken to the sound of the doorbell. Stumbling clumsily to the door, I peered through the peephole but had no clue who was there (I could only tell that she was a woman). I was still groggy and wasn't wearing my glasses so everything was a blur. The only blur I could make out was the silhouette of a dark SUV (it seemed as large as a Chevy Suburban).
I remembered I had casually committed to returning to the Church of Scientology to buy books (a small white lie). I was confused as to how they could find me and tried to recall if I had given out my address. I didn't panic and I wasn't scared but I certainly wasn't in the mood to talk to any creepy Scientologists. So, I quietly returned to my nap and she eventually went away.
Having forgotten about the whole incident, I didn't even think to mention it to my wife. But this afternoon, the doorbell rang again. My son peeked through the blinds and announced that it was just my wife's friend, "Lana". So, I confidently flung the door open to see the same unknown lady with her black Suburban...
She politely asked a few questions to determine if she had the correct residence. She did. But she wasn't looking for me; she was looking for my wife. And she wasn't from the Church of Scientology; she was from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
She is what the Mormons call a visiting teacher and she had tracked down my wife. She wanted to let us know that the "church" was available if we needed anything. She also said "We haven't seen your wife for a while and wanted to see if she was still here." The funny thing is that the last time my wife went to church was 13 years ago and it was in Colorado. I had half a mind to tell this lady that but I didn't.
I also had the urge to invite her in for a theological discussion but I didn't. She wasn't a missionary and she looked uncomfortable and I know my wife was uncomfortable. My wife witnessed the whole exchange hiding around the corner and she was upset that I flung the door open (potentially exposing her). She was also bewildered at how the "church" keeps tracking her down. Every time we change addresses they eventually find her (not me, just her). This time it took almost two years to the day but they are persistent.
I should have known better than to assume the Scientoiogists would even bother to find me. Now the Mormons, on the other hand, they can track you like a bloodhound on the trail...
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